Mixed-Orientation Marriage Support

At Common Sanctuary, much of our work has focused on supporting gay and bisexual men who are navigating these marriages. Through group support and individual coaching, we provide safe, honest spaces for queer men to share their experiences, explore their identities, and seek a path toward greater integrity and wholeness.

We also recognize that straight spouses need support and care of their own. While our current programs primarily serve gay and bisexual men, we hope to expand in ways that offer resources and community for LGBTQIA+ partners as well.

Coaching for Mixed-Orientation Marriages

Matt Nightingale brings a deeply personal understanding to this work. He was married to a woman for 23 years, is the parent of four adult children, and served as an evangelical pastor for decades before coming out as gay in midlife. Today, he is married to his husband, Alejandro, and continues the ongoing work of building a life marked by integrity, faith, and truthfulness.

Since 2019, Matt has walked alongside hundreds of gay and bisexual men navigating the realities of mixed-orientation marriage. Through one-on-one coaching and group support, he offers a confidential, nonjudgmental space to tell the truth about your life, gain perspective, and discern what wholeness and integrity might look like for you. Coaching is about companionship and clarity, not prescribing answers.

Support Groups for Queer Men

Common Sanctuary’s support groups are designed for queer men navigating mixed-orientation marriage, faith, identity, and long-held commitments. These groups are not about fixing marriages or pushing toward predetermined outcomes. Instead, they offer a steady, confidential space to share lived experience, hear others’ stories, and discern next steps together with care and integrity.

Groups are facilitated with attention to safety, respect, and mutual listening. Participants are invited to bring their real lives into the room, including uncertainty, grief, love, fear, hope, and complexity. Many men find that group support helps reduce isolation, normalize difficult emotions, and offer perspective that is hard to access alone.

Support groups are offered periodically and are typically time-limited, allowing participants to journey with the same group of men over a set period of time. This shared rhythm helps foster trust, depth, and a sense of mutual care. Information about upcoming groups is shared as they are scheduled.